I had been in such a bad place for so long I started to feel that it was my home and the worse things got the more I felt it was just who I was, a doomed soul destined for destruction. A life of chaos became order for my mess of a mind as the words echoing around in my head took a dismal turn shifting my downward motion into a nose dive. When I hit rock bottom I did not think for a second that it was time to turn things around in contrary I began to dig with my bare hands drawing blood and finding myself in the pits of hell. The worst of it all was that I actually began to believe that was my path; that I was as dark as the thoughts seeping from my brain sopping my surrounds.
Proverbs chapter fourteen verse twelve tells of a path in front of each of us that seems right but that ends in death. Speaking from experience this path takes such a hold that it actually has you wanting it even after you’ve realized the reality of its demise; it has you begging of death. The fog rolls in so thick there is no longer a world around you and in your figment of isolation you lose grasp of whatever thread you had left. At this point even if you wanted out it seems to be a vacant possibility forcing eminence into extinction and placing you out of even God’s grace.
There is hope in knowing romans chapter five verse eight which enlightens us to the cleansing of our souls while we were still sinners. Even in our darkest corners among the spider webs and bones is the love of our God only made luminously greater by the deepest of shadows. In the debris of immorality made by the deliberate trashing of a fallen life into sin, even as the lowest deeds prevail over innocence, and where the distance gone insinuates no return His love is found awaiting your recovery. Before you clean yourself up, previous to your lack of denial, sooner than you can even plead forgiveness and plot your apologies the Lord not only loves you he misses you, wants you, but most importantly has faith in you.
pressing words 
Prov. 14:12 MSG There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again – it leads straight to hell.
NIV: 12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.
KJV: There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
NAS: There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.
WYC (Wycliffe) Soothly a way is, that seemeth just to a man (Truly there is a way, that seemeth right to a person); but the last things thereof lead forth to death.
No matter how you say it, without God, fellowship with our creator, with out a relationship with and to Him (not religion) life is meaningless and even while still breathing has no purpose. I am so glad you have made a connection with Him and want to share that with others in hope that they too will come to Him, the only way to come alive. He is our shepherd, may we be good sheep and follow His leading because as a lost sheep we are sure to be devoured.
Ps 23 recently brought so much HOPE to me and reminded me that IN HIM i am new and although still in this earth suit i am on a journey that leads to His Kingdom up on high.
Psalm 23:3-4 He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s! So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. (Romans 8:11-13)
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
(Romans 5:8)
The fog has been blown away, and when it returns i still trust and know that HE will blow it away once again, and again and again.
He has not only knocked down the spider webs He has killed the spider. He’s rolled the bones that made up the skeletons in my closet and is sweeping my temple clean.
He leads me, He makes me lay down and i listen
https://tombeetlebailey.wordpress.com/2015/10/19/he-makes-me-lie-down/
Reblogged this on tombeetlebailey and commented:
As I re-read this tonight I came to a greater understanding of how, in spite of your illness you understood how much God loves all of us.